BORN ON THE AUTUMN EQUINOX IN 1952 AS THE SUN ENTERED LIBRA
The Path Less Taken
Though hers was a pretty typical 50s suburban childhood, as the middle child of three, Barbara distinguished herself from the start by being boldly independent, while also trying hard not to rock the boat in a way that would upset or harm those around her. Animals were her confidants and safe harbor. The foundational metaphor of running before you walk or crawl -- which is how she first experimented with moving through the world -- would inform the decades to come.
Adapting For Survival
From Alexandria, Virginia, where she was born, her father's corporate career and promotions took the family to Massachusetts, then to Illinois, and finally to Wilton, Connecticut. These frequent moves brought her family close but also meant adapting to new schools and friends every few years until she entered fifth grade. Barbara learned to befriend solitude and silence rather than risk being misunderstood. That ability has served her well throughout her life.
Books & Writing
Barbara's love for books was cultivated early by her mother's similar devotion. Her mom read to her children every night before bed until they could read on their own, and trips to the local public library were frequent. Barbara remembers her first attempt at narrative. She was eight, home from school sick, likely having just devoured the latest Winnie the Pooh or Mrs. Piggle Wiggle book her mother had supplied. She found a scarf in the closet, tied it around her head to cover her eyes, and attempted to move around the room to experience what it might feel like to be blind. After banging hard into the coffee table, she pulled off the scarf, sat down and wrote. Creative writing continued a love through high school, ending in college where academic demands forced her to cultivate a different voice.
Horses
The counterpoint to reading and writing was horseback riding, Barbara's other childhood passion. She remembers the four years living in then-rural Oakbrook, Illinois as the source of many of her happiest childhood memories. Much of the land was devoted to polo fields or nature preserves with riding trails. She loved the wonderful, free feeling riding provided. She also learned the importance of getting right back on when you fall off, which she did often. (Another useful metaphor.) She longed to have her own horse, but her parents wisely held out, so that dream was eventually abandoned, she assumed for good. Serendipitously, in later life and out of the blue, it was fulfilled a few years ago when she was gifted with a young mustang named Rio. Thanks to the grace of life's surprising twists and turns -- and generous support from her son -- she now lives on a small ranch in Colorado with Rio and a second adopted wild horse. They keep her honest and grateful every day.
College
Smith College in the early 1970s had yet to throw off its post-WW II image as a finishing school preparing women for marriage, challenging for Barbara's more rebellious and feminist leanings. Planning to be an English major when she entered, she instead found a home in the Religion Department, where several newly hired professors who focused on the religions and spiritual traditions of Asia, and others with expertise in modern philosophy, inspired her. She took leave for her junior year at Dartmouth on the Twelve-College Exchange, where she studied English literature, anthropology, and men. Returning to Massachusetts in the fall of 1973 for her senior year, she had the good fortune to be able to study at nearby Amherst with Tibetan Buddhism scholar Robert Thurman, which was life-changing. They remained friends after she graduated and he moved on to teach at Columbia. Decades later, she had the honor of working with him on his book Why the Dalai Lama Matters.
Rosebud
In the spring of her senior year at Smith, with no clear plans for life after graduation, Barbara accepted the invitation of her new boyfriend to follow him to the Rosebud Reservation in South Dakota. Waking Up In Paradise chronicles that bold move in detail. The transformative impact meeting the Crow Dogs and living at Paradise had on her, not only that summer but for the rest of her life, is a story that continues to unfold. In June of 2024, she and her adopted Lakota relatives in South Dakota celebrated the 50th anniversary of their first meeting. They continue to stay in regular touch, visiting as often as possible. It has been Barbara's great joy and honor to have been able for the past 12 years to work professionally for the the Sicangu Lakota Oyate, (Rosebud Sioux Tribe). It was always her dream to bring the skills she gained in various corporate and service jobs back to the reservation -- another dream fulfilled.
Motherhood
Bold would also describe Barbara's motherhood journey. Her first pregnancy a little over a year after arriving at Paradise ended with the agonizing, for her, decision to have an abortion. Two years later, when she found out she was pregnant again despite careful use of birth control, for deeply spiritual reasons she chose the other path, even though it would mean raising her child alone. She was in a Buddhist Studies PhD program at the University of Wisconsin at the time. Motherhood led to dropping out of graduate school one semester from earning her Masters. The decision ushered in a beautiful, though challenging, chapter, with her son Nathan as the center of her new universe. The Crow Dog family welcomed him as one of their own, as is the Lakota way. Today, mother and son enjoy an extraordinary friendship rooted in a shared appreciation for the weavings of Spirit and karma in their lives. They are co-owners of the six-acre Colorado ranch where Barbara lives and cares for two adopted mustangs, a beagle and a fluffy cat. Writing and part-time consulting work for clients in Indian Country fill her days. The ranch also provides Nathan with a home base as his creative work takes him around the world.
"Perseverance Furthers"
A student of the I Ching -- or Book of Changes as it is sometimes known -- Barbara has always loved the I Ching expression translated from Chinese as "perseverance furthers." It continues to inspire and guide her in her daily life and the pursuit of her goals and dreams. As a long-time tai chi practitioner, she has come to see that perseverance is rooted in being able to relax into each present moment and accept what is, rather than the competitive striving that is responsible for so much imbalance and unhappiness in our world today. Perseverance is one of the qualities most respected in Lakota culture, along with courage, generosity, and wisdom.